God is Great, but sometimes Life ain't Good.

I love these lyrics from the song "Anyway" by Martina McBride

You can spend your whole life buildin'
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy
It's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yeah - I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singing
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea, sing it anyway
Yeah, yeah!

I sing
I dream
I love
anyway


What brings this to my mind? So much has been happening and we just don't have any control of it. I think right now of my family. My uncle is battling the end stages of pancreatic cancer. It feels something like having a DVD on RPT, as we went through this with my grandmother (his mom) 8 years ago. Yes, it was the SAME UGLY cancer. I have such a curious hatred for cancer. I say curious, because I want to know more, learn more and study more. I have seen cancer invade the lives of too many I love that I want to pay it forward and learn how to beat the BEAST!

Dan and my brother Chris (who also lives in California).

The last five months have been full of trials and moments of wondering 'where is God?' is my life? I have realized through the valley that He was whispering for me to come closer, closer, closer and TRUST in his LOVE and plan for me. That is really hard when you think you are the one in control of your own life. I have had to take a serious step back and learn that it is not me, God ultimately has the last say in everything happening in my life- THAT I had to accept. We grow up being told to 'make out own choices and decisions' and be "responsible"- which is true. Yet, we have to learn that our Father is the one who has our life written out and knows what is to come.

(Photo copyright Christopher Maddox 2011)

We never want to live our life with "regrets". Every decision I have made in my career has blessed me for the time I was there and opened a new door to my future. I spent a bit of time wondering WHY my life would change the way it has, but God's plans for me are MUCH bigger!!! I know that he wants me to take my love for kids and my experiences and pay it forward. I had to TRUST and be patient through the last few months. I will not say those months were easy. It has required a lot of praying and trusting in His plan. But patience has paid off and God's love for me is evident! I have met so many new amazing people and spoken with some who have reminded me which opinions REALLY matter.

It is difficult to know what is in store for me and my family as none of us can predict the future. I do know the next few years will not be easy, school will be busy, work will be physically demanding and hard on the body and money will be tight. But we will get through it, it will not be forever and we will learn to get by. The payoff will be worth it. :) I also know, it will be a blip on the radar. Life is such a journey, and when we travel through our journey, sometimes it feels like it is lasting forever, when in reality- it is just a speck of time. As our pastor once said we our living out our "scratch"- when the real living is eternity with God, that is what we are preparing for.

Challenges...we all meet them. It is how we face them that shows what we are made of.

What is inside of you?